Guilt
The
By Stephen Terry
Many years ago, I attended a seminar presented by a visiting
psychologist. Between the morning and afternoon sessions, he and I had lunch
together. Although he professed no religious faith, he was fascinated by
those who did. He was especially interested in Christians. While
munching his sandwich, he told me, “You Christians have the answer to the one
problem we psychologists cannot solve. You have the answer for guilt.”
He went on to tell me that guilt was at the root of many psychological
disorders, and if people could only find forgiveness, they would begin to
recover. Christianity was the only thing that he had ever found that
offered forgiveness to people.
Guilt can rob our lives of joy as it slowly eats away at our self
confidence. It is a burden so heavy it seems impossible to bear. We
struggle to find any way to rid ourselves of the burden. Sometimes we try
to pass it on to others as Adam did to Eve. (Genesis 3:12) But this is an
inadequate solution as we add to our original guilt the guilt we incur for
blaming someone else for something we have done. Instead of finding release we
are burdened even more.
We may try to repress the memory of the events that caused us to feel
guilt, but our minds will not let us take this way out. The human mind
cannot live with such cognitive dissonance. Either the memories will come back
to us during the quiet moments when we are alone, or they will surface in our
dreams as we sleep. Our minds will try to resolve the paradox of knowing that
something occurred even though we deny it while awake. Sadly, the hurt we
inflict on others torments us even more than the pain that the others have
felt. They may have moved on with their lives, but the knowledge of what
we have done continues torturing our minds long after the actual event.
If this were the end of the story, man’s lot would be dismal. Many
would not even be able to bear the burden. Hoping to escape the torment
through death, some would even destroy their own lives to escape.
Too many try to escape the pain this way. Some end their lives
abruptly, but many more take the slow but just as certain route to death that
is offered by alcohol, drugs and other self-destructive behaviors. The
well known “12 Step” programs recognize that unresolved issues of guilt can
keep a person on this downward spiral. That is why making “amends” is an
important part of the process of recovery. Along with my psychologist
friend, the founder of Alcoholics Anonymous recognized the importance of
offering a solution to guilt.
What is that solution? It consists of two parts. We must ask
forgiveness from those we have wronged (James 5:16), and we must ask
forgiveness from God (1 John 1:9). If we have wronged someone, we must
make every attempt to make things right again. We must seek their
forgiveness, and if what we have done has caused them loss, we must make every
attempt to restore what was lost as well. Some losses may not be able to be
made up, but we should make every effort within our means. Failure to restore
what we can, will reduce our apology to nothing but
empty words.
Asking forgiveness from those we have wronged may go beyond those events
we know about. We may need to go to people we are having difficulties
with and ask for forgiveness even if we don’t believe we have wronged them.
You see forgiveness is not justifying who is right or wrong. It is
about reconciling a relationship by apologizing for what has happened to that
relationship. Sometimes relationships are damaged by wrongs that are only
imagined. Asking forgiveness can even overcome those imaginary wrongs and
bring reconciliation.
While being reconciled with those we are at odds with will bring some
peace to our relationships, it is not enough on its own. We must also
reconcile our relationship with that person’s Creator. We must make peace with
God. Some would have us believe that God commands this of us in order to escape
an eternal punishment that He wants to condemn us to. But the Bible says
otherwise. It tells us, “For God did not send his Son into the
world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:17, NIV God
wants nothing more for us than to enjoy peace and abundant life. Jesus
told us “Peace I leave with you; my
peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your
hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:27, NIV
and also “I am come that they might have life, and that they
might have it more abundantly.
Jesus wants us to have peace in our hearts through reconciliation with
others and with Him. He doesn’t want us just to
somehow muddle through. He wants our lives to be filled with all the
abundance that life can offer. He knows that those blessings can only
come if we are set free from the burdens that guilt places upon us. When
we are loaded down with guilt, our self esteem suffers. Because of our
lack of self worth, we feel we do not deserve the abundant life that others are
enjoying. We may even feel we cannot come to God for forgiveness, so He
comes to us. Jesus told about how God searches for us diligently as a
shepherd searches for his lost sheep. He places such a value upon us that
Jesus even came from heaven to earth to seek and find as many as possible to
enjoy reconciliation and abundant life with Him.
Knowing all this, can we continue to hold on to our burden of guilt and
loneliness? I want to drop this burden and enjoy life as it was meant to
be lived. Won’t you let yourself be found by this gentle Shepherd? Won’t
you join me in reaching out to God in prayer?
Dear Father. I want to be
reconciled to you, and I ask your forgiveness to make that possible. Show
me the peace and abundant life I can have with You.
Wash away my guilt, and give me the peace in my heart that you promised.
Help me to begin a new life with you. I ask in Jesus’ name. Amen
If you do not have the
current Bible Study Quarterly,
you may purchase one by clicking here and typing the word "quarterly"
into the search box.